


I'll keep believing in you

by CandyCrackpot



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M, follows the plot loosely, i'll use Lou Fa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-08 10:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: Lou Fa fights for Allen in her own way. Series of Lou FaXAllen ficlets loosely following the plot.





	1. Clown

 When she first laid eyes on him all she could think of was a painted-faced clown. Skin a pale white, like the fine powder pantomimes use, along with a vibrant smile to attract and misguide the attention to the expression, not the person who wore it. Despite the blooming bruises and heavy bandages taping together his lithe, fragile body, his most noticeable feature was that dazzling smile. Lou Fa's heart truly skipped when Allen Walker greeted her with that and simple words that she treasured dearly.

"Nice to meet you."

It might have been silly to fall for someone out of the blue like that, but it was hard not to.

So this was him. Allen Walker, the Exorcist who was saved by Innocence. Lou Fa didn't practice religion, but she was grateful to whatever God that protected the boy.

Despite just waking up from coma after his near death experience and losing a limb, he immediately jumped headfirst into an intense training of a deathmatch with Fou. She was incredibly worried for his wellbeing but that smile made her silent once again. She just watched from the sidelines, unable to help or even minorly support him.

Or to be more precise, there might have been a way to support him after all. That's what she thought as she was standing before him with a tray holding a kettle, two cups and some dim sum. His large doe like irises blinked in surprise flickering from the treats to her blushing face.

"I-I," she swallowed, trying to ease the fluttering in her small ribcage. "I brought you some refreshments."

Allen continued to eye the treats with wonder, then pointed at himself unsurely."These are for me?"

Feeling her voice shake in the back of her throat, she just nodded and unsurely crept her gaze back to meet his.

He was stunned for a second, then sent her heart on haywire when he gave a warm smile, this time solely aimed at her. "Thank you a lot, Lou Fa."

She didn't know him for long, but she could tell, that smile wasn't entirely carefree, he couldn't hide the dark shadows creeping under his eyes. In that moment she understood and her own smile dimmed just slightly. He was just as scared as the rest of them were - even more because he lost his way of protecting himself, the only reason he didn't succumb to them because she was present. It pained her to know he was suffering but that was part of his recovery. In order to properly process these feelings he needs time and sense of safety so he can let himself experience them.

The make up needed to be washed down every night or there would be health consequences.

She also knew this was wishful thinking on her part though, it would take a lot to have him feel safe enough around her to be completely honest. But that was fine, as long as he knew she was by his side.

Even if she couldn't help him or fix him, she could help by giving him the time and space to heal himself, as well as the company every human carved. It was a simple exchange where they both gave from their hearts.

If only things could have stayed that simple.

Tears stung her eyes listening to his agonized cries all over again, knowing that he was going to die any second, that once he was killed everyone else would die and that she was powerless to save anyone; her love couldn't save him.

It hurt more than seeing him break both in a physically and mentally. It hurt to know that he thought that he was seen as a mere weapon, the painted faced Exorcist, not the hero they all admired; not Allen, the boy. But it hurt most that there was absolutely nothing she could do as he shattered. Just scream.

Among the disharmony of their cries a light exploded to life, stopping the Level 3. A brilliant white Pierrot. Without difficulty, it tore the Akuma apart, but it did not kill it. Once the Innocence deemed it safe, it sought out Allen and aimed at the submerged Accommodator, pulling him out of the water. That day a new clown of light was born with a new look: a mask of hope.

A Crowned Clown.


	2. Science

_Once the potion turns dark green, extinguish the fire and let it cool. Keeping windows open is advisable as the fumes of the substance are highly potent, do not inhale._

Following the instructions, Lou Fa turned down the flames and put the flask on the windowstill, then readied the small vials where she'd pour the liquid.

It's been about a week since Johnny Gill announced his resignation and in another week he would be officially disbanded. But she knew it from Cash, he was going to go after Allen.

So predictable. After him taking up working out all of sudden 3 months ago, it was to be expected that he had a plan.

The stopper clicked softly, signifying that the potion was ready to be distributed. She adjusted the mask and special glasses on her face and reached for the flask with a tweezer. She carefully brought the substance back to her table and divided the fluid into small vials and capped them.

Johnny was going to be in trouble. The chances of him getting away was slim, not to mention if Central knew he deserted he'd put his friends and family in danger as well. After encountering the test subjects of the Third Exorcist project and realising how many Exorcist were kept in the Order against their will and were forced to fight, she knew that Central doesn' mind having people die for the cause. She doesn't put it past them to kidnap those people and even torture or kill them to have Johnny under their control. She had to make sure Johnny wasn't going to meet a situation like that, she didn't want to put him in a situation where he'd have to choose between his family and Allen. He'll need help so he can then help Allen.

A surge of bittersweet longing ran through her. Things were getting hard. Many died during the North American Branch's invasion, several Exorcists went MIA and even Master Zhu was nearing his last breath. Li Kei and Shi Fu did their best to support, but even they could do so much. Chief Bak too worked overtime almost every day these days then looked after Zhu. The morale was never once this low.

But what she really missed most was talking to Allen. Even through times of depression he could always make people smile. But he was gone, all alone now. She had to help him. And she will. It was now her turn to cheer him up.

She took out a light box with puffy lining and placed the vials there. Flipping through the case there were numerous other vials of various colours laid out.

She might not have been able to fight, but she still could resist, she still had her knowledge. Science was absolute and a valuable asset. The ingredients of the potions she created were ones that would be easy to find even on the run, no one would be able to track her. This wasn't a battle that could be won with smarts only, but it was good enough to turn tides. Even if she couldn't fight, she wasn't going to run away.


	3. The Unknown

Of course the Order wouldn't let him off easily. Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hand gripping the dark liquid that was said to be erasing his memories. If he drank it he'd forget about the Order, which could be a problem; it could result into forgetting about Allen as well.

"Hurry up and drink it," the man escorting him commanded.

Johnny gulped. "I'm very sorry!" In a flash, he fished out his special knock-out bomb and slammed it to the ground. Heavy smoke rose and Johnny wasted no time to strap on his mask and tumble out of the cabin - but his body went limp under the heavy weights hung on him. He was captured.

"This is unmistakably traitorous behaviour, Johnny Gill," the man who he failed to sedate said smugly, as if he knew Johnny would try this. A Crow. "Our destination has changed. You are headed for prison."

Glass shattered and in the next moment a boot was planted in the Crow's moustache. Before his comrade could react he was kicked in the stomach.

Johnny was speechless seeing Kanda grab the woozy man and slam him back inside the cabin he fled from, then slid the door shut. There was a moment of silence inside, then agonized screams.

"What the hell?"

Johnny tore his head to the source of the sound, horrified to see another Crow. _There was more of them?!_

He attempted getting on his feet, but he was still bound. Johnny let out a startled cry as the man looming above him whipped a switchblade out of his sleeve. The door slammed open, but it was a second too late, the blade was already brought down on Johnny.

Kanda gripped the door handle tensely seeing another Crow hover over the scientist, then collapse in a heap. The two exchanged glances, then looked back at the neutralised man, surprised to see a blow dart stick out of his spine.

"I made it in time," a female voice sighed in relief. Kanda immediately reached for his sword, but stopped hearing Johnny's joyous shout.

"Lou Fa!"

"Hi, Johnny."

Kanda's hand froze in the air seeing the person who saved them. It was that petite female who kept buzzing around the Beansprout and feed him. The idiot was always so disgustingly delighted when she was around.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped at her, unable to stand the loved-dovey best friends forever atmosphere between the two.

Lou Fa's expression immediately sobered. "Why of course, I'm here to help. I knew Johnny would get into trouble, so I came to save him. I didn't expect you to show up to be honest."

"Neither did I. But how do I know you won't bring trouble on us?"

"Kanda!"

Both ignored Johnny's outburst, who then sulked because he still wasn't released.

"Look, if Johnny goes the way he does he's going to be branded a fugitive and put his family in danger. Do you truly expect him to choose between Allen and them?"

Kanda's lips parted but no words came out.

… She had a pretty damn valid point.

"So how do you plan on covering up our trails?"

Lou Fa flashed him a smile and reached inside her messenger bag, pulling out three small vials. "These drugs are for memory altering. They induce a trance like state, allowing me to suggest them."

"Suggest?"

"Basically hypnotize them into crafting false memories for themselves. Remembrance is reconstructive you know, if you know what to say, you can easily influence people to accept something that isn't true."

Implanting memories again…

A scowl settled on Kanda's face. "Do you think something similar had happened to him?"

Her thin brows furrowed into a sad frown. "... It is possible. Problem is that it's truly hard to tell if someone has implanted memories. Without evidence it's nearly impossible to prove and even if these people are met with proof that says otherwise they'll resist and continue clinging to what they remember. But I do have an idea how the whole 14th business can be handled."

"What do you have in mind?" Kanda demanded to know. Perhaps, with her the Bean had better chances.

Lou Fa shook her head. "Later, I have to deal with these Crows and then we have to leave, they probably should have reported back by now so Central might already suspect that something isn't right."

"How much time do you need?" Johnny inquired.

"Three minutes."

"Get to it. I'll stand guard, Johnny, you-"

" _Ehem_."

"Oh, right."


	4. Travel/Runaway

Not even 52 stops were enough to locate Allen. It either meant that he hadn't come here yet or he was very good at covering up his tracks. The former while seemed to be more likely, but regarding the fact that Cross Marian had been here during Allen's apprenticeship, Lou Fa found it impossible that no one recognised him. After all, age difference aside, the white hair and his facial scar was unmistakable.

So thinking it over, it is more possible that yes, Allen had been here, and yes, these people were very much aware of it, it's just Allen managed to make sure the whole town would be collectively silent about him. With his current lack of resources, bribing was out of question so threatening it was. That, or ending up in a business no sane person would want part in.

She shit a sympathetic glance at Kanda's groaning form, knowing that he suffered heavily from the large excess of alcohol he downed the other day. Lou Fa didn't know anyone could drink so much tequila and not end up comatose. And she had to admit Johnny took alcohol pretty well, despite being so skinny himself. Being a girl, Lou Fa was let off drinking light cocktails and nonalcoholic beverages, thankfully no barkeeper scorned at her for not drinking enough. Besides she drank enough water to balance out the dehydrating effect of liquor and thus, she got away from the ordeal just a bit tipsy the night and quite alright the following morning.

"What is this feeling?" Kanda moaned in pain, gripping his temples.

"A hangover I'd say," Johnny replied, strangely upbeat despite his pitiful condition in the morning. Reaching in his pack, he pulled out a small container. "Here, take some KomuVitamin II."

"I don't need it."

"It's an improved version," Johnny pushed, literally, trying his best to force the substance in Kanda's hands.

Lou Fa shifted uncomfortably at the tug, or more precisely, shove war, concerned that the potion might end up sloshed over her. Ending up as a mindless zombie and infect the whole world was not something she wanted to try, thank you very much.

She let out a startled cry with Johnny when the bottle was tossed high in the sky and fell right into a group of passengers forming a circle with a silhouette peeking out in the middle. Muttering "excuse me"s she slipped into the crowd, following her colleague, sighing relieved when she spotted him kneeling on the ground, lips parted in fascination. Following his gaze, she realized he was awed by a clown performing right in front of him.

Lou Fa had to admit that he was indeed amazing. The clown moved with such grace and the crowd was so enraptured by him, it was hard not to admire. All too soon, the act ended and the clown extended his top hat, requesting some change for entertaining them. They clown's eyes stopped on them and there was a flash of something in his eyes. He quickly tore his gaze away, but by no means had them out of his sight. They failed to notice though, both too busy searching their pockets for some change until Johnny shrieked.

"It's gone! My purse is gone!"

"What happened?" Kanda demanded as he finally pushed his way to where the two of them weaseled their way in.

"The money is gone!"

"Wait, are you sure it's not in your pocket or something?" Lou Fa inquired, trying to keep her colleague from breaking down.

"No, it's gone gone!"

As Lou Fa tried to contain Johnny's mental meltdown, they failed to notice the special interest the Japanese took in the clown.

"Then maybe you left it at the inn? Or the bar. Or just dropped it nearby. Let's go and search for it."

Johnny shook his head with a long sigh. "No, it's as good as gone. Besides, we don't have the time for that, we need to find Allen."

"I see. I still have some money - since I staged a disappearance I couldn't take very much but it's enough for a few days for the three of us." Since she didn't retire, she couldn't take compensation from the Order and having to divide the little money she had into three made things quite difficult.

"Let's keep that, that will be our emergency money. We'll go and earn some more."

She chuckled wryly. "This is an emergency."

Johnny gave back a smile, somewhat less anxious now that he could think the situation through. He opened his mouth to say something for Lou Fa, but stopped himself when he saw Kanda reach for his bloody katana in the middle of a crowd. "Kanda, what are you doing, stop!" he all but ordered as he latched onto his wrists.

"I just want to slice him up a bit," he grumbled offhandedly, if that was a valid reason to draw sword in public, at innocent people.

"We don't have time for that, we have to go and earn money." Without waiting for an answer, Johnny turned on his heel and dragged Kanda away.

Lou Fa sighed taking out some coins and dropping them in the top-hat presented to her with a small smile. The clown gratefully dipped his head, but he seemed unnaturally stiff. Oh well.

She turned to trot after her two companions, but froze when the ground under her dipped.

_"I feel a Noah."_

A shiver ran down on his spine, hearing an ominous voice whisper.

_"Faintly, I feel a Noah around here."_

The ground, like ripples on water rolled away so that an enormous mouth could surface, trapping him on his ball.

_"I feel the 14th."_

Screams erupted from the crowd that turned into a mob as the people trampled on each other to get away from the monstrosity that claimed a street performer and some little girl.

In an instant, Kanda pushed Johnny around and unsheathed Mugen, ready to slay the Akuma that captured their third companion, but he was precedented with an explosion from the machine.

The blob of Level 4s fell to the ground as a humanoid form emerged from its remains with a flurry of feathers. The white tendrils joined into an all too familiar mask. Under it, the weary eyed clown who had his make up smeared enough to see through his lies.

Kanda gasped softly, recognising the comrade he fought and fought by so much. "That mask!"

Tears brimmed Johnny's eyes as he recognised his long lost friend and realised both he and Lou Fa whom he was balancing on his clawed left arm were both alright. "Allen!"

Terrified, Lou Fa was still clinging to Allen like a lifeline as he jumped down back to the solid ground. She blushed realising that she pressed her face into his neck and practically jumped away when he sat her down.

"I-I'm so-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence, since Allen decided to make a run for it. However, he didn't get far, as Kanda grabbed onto his fluffy hood, tripped him and slammed him to the ground.

Lou Fa questioned if letting Kanda Yuu join was a good idea. An inquiry she stated again seeing how harshly the teenager rubbed Allen's face so harshly with a towel.

"Are you trying to peel off the skin off my face, BaKanda?!" Lou Fa shrieked when a foot beside her rose rapidly aimed at Kanda, who somehow managed to block it with his elbow.

"Beansprout."

"It's Allen!"

"Um, guys?" Johnny pointed at Lou Fa and the two males froze seeing tears streaming down on her cheeks.

"Allen." Self-consciously, Lou Fa rubbed her eyes. "I was so worried."

"S-sorry," he pleaded, fighting his way out of Kanda's grip to hover over Lou Fa, fretting. "Please don't cry!"

Despite her tears she put a smile on her face. "I'm so glad to see that you're alright. It's so good to see you."

He gave her a soft, apologetic grimace - god, he was really bad at feigning he was alright, he must be completely exhausted emotionally. "I'm happy to see you as well, I really am, but please, just leave; it's way too dangerous."

He visibly winced seeing the tears flow from her eyes more intensely. "How could you say such a horrible thing! Letting you do this all on your own. That would truly be a betrayal!"

"It's not betrayal, I'm doing this to keep you all safe," Allen argued as he pulled out a colourful handkerchief that was part of an obnoxiously long chain tucked into his breast pocket and reached over to Lou Fa's face to gently soak up her tears. "I can't put any one of you through this. I can't lose you."

Her small kand grabbed into his wrist and squeezed it with trembling hand. "Neither can we." It was pitiful really, if Allen wanted to, he could shake her off and disappear again, but still she didn't want to let go. She bowed her head, shoulders shaking from her violent sobs. "Please don't go," she shakily begged.

She didn't want to lose anyone else.

She could hear a sharp intake of breath and felt a surge of panic when Allen pulled his wrist away. The loss of contact left a pang of emptiness in her chest. But warmth returned again when his hand clasped around hers, rubbing her knuckles soothingly.

Due to some sort of miracle, Allen didn't run away - for now.

Kanda watched the scene with utter confusion while Johnny just smiled. No matter how much Allen changed, he still couldn't bear to make a girl cry.


	5. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allen's filthiest kink is being loved and cared for by others. Shame him. (No pleases don't, he's just a baby.)

Even though they explained countless times that they weren't sent by the Order, Allen still insisted on running off; if not for Kanda, Lou Fa was sure he would have gotten away. In the end, Johnny clasped on a wireless cuff on him and tied themselves together, so Allen couldn't escape. She didn't think, oh so innocent Johnny would resort to something this drastic, but indeed, one had to take extra measures to outsmart a cunning con-artist like Allen Walker. With Johnny's genius, they managed to capture Allen.

If only he trusted them too.

Lou Fa set down a cup of tea along with the type of macaron Allen liked with a sad smile, knowing that Allen wouldn't return it, not this time. Allen could handle spats with Kanda, being a bit mean to Johnny, but for the life of him, he couldn't disrespect a woman.

This of course, was part of his charm, after all, there were few men who didn't take Lou Fa's, a woman of superior intellect as a challenge or even a threat, but even if mean, she wished Allen would _look_ at her.

He caught his eye wandering to her, but he caught himself and stubbornly ignored the treat even when his stomach let out a demanding groan.

"Allen, please eat some?" She requested pushing the plate in the line of his sight, withholding a giggle seeing him swallow. "You need it to heal and support your Innocence."

His body twitched at that but he didn't elaborate any sort of verbal answer.

"Allen… I promise I didn't mix anything in it this time." She gave him a completely harmless sleeping potion, because he still forced himself to stay awake despite the obvious signs of insomnia. It was his own interest!

As his mouth parted to respond, she could see ample of saliva in there, in reaction to the food, but he still protested, now verbally as well. "No, thank you."

A different approach then.

Lou Fa innocently took a piece of macaron from the plate. Despite "not being interested", Allen's silver gaze was sure to follow her delicate hand up to her mouth where the pastry disappeared. Lou Fa could sweat she heard a scandalised gasp resonate in his throat. Her cheeks coloured under his intense gaze that he dedicated to her lips, that longing in his eyes for the crumbles smeared over her cheeks was both adorable and hilarious.

She snuck another piece and this time, she lightly pressed to Allen's lips that clamped shut despite his obvious desire. Many emotions flashed through his eyes, eyebrows scrunching with determination and yearning. He was cracking under his famine, but the stupid boy still refused to accept the meagre morsel and the small gesture.

Nothing to do. "Well, if you won't eat it, I'll have to throw it away-"

She refrained from smirking when the macaron disappeared, but then blushed when she realised she was touching Allen's lips - directly. They were in quite a poor shape, all dried up and chapped, littered with teeth marks left either by hunger or frustration.

"Thanks," he breathed against her digit, eye once again drifting down.

Her touch shifted, caressing his scarred cheek slightly, her eyes casted down as well in self-consciousness over her next words. "You're welcome. We'll be always here for you."

Through his lips she could feel his heartbeat pick up to match hers. It only occurred to her then that what she was doing was an extremely intimate act and she was way overstepping her boundaries. Her hand jolted away, but was unexpectedly caught by Allen's much larger and rougher right one. As she glanced to his face, she was surprised to find a solemn expression.

"Lou Fa… Please stop this."

A painful throb resounded in her chest. Pain crept from her heart, spreading to her lugs. Suddenly it was so hard to breathe. Her eyes watered at the agony. "Why? Why do you always push us away? Why won't you let us… let me…" _love you_ "Care for you?"

His grip tightened just slightly."I'm sorry. But it's way too dangerous. I… I can't protect you. Not from..."

Her eyes screwed shut in a sorry attempt to contain her tears. Why did he have to suffer so much? "Alright," she breathed much to his surprise. "I'll let you go."

Hearing that, his eyes slid closed with a shaky breath. When his eyes opened again, his eyes oozed gratitude.

But she wasn't going to accept it. "So when you win don't forget to come back to us."

Wet silver eyes blinked in awe and disbelief as she bit her lip. This was a dangerous move, she might have given him both the space and the motivation he needed, but it could also end up as his undoing.

Still, I want to believe it that he can do it. I want to believe that he will come back to us.

_Seeing his face crunch into a solemn smile, she guessed he reached similar conclusion._

"Yeah."

_I'll keep believing in you._


	6. Fight

Another raw scream tore past Allen's lips, shaking the walls dangerously. Desperate eyes swapped between silver and golden while bronze crept up on his pale skin, as if wanting to engulf him. Pain was raking through his whole body, making him trash violent enough to tear up the wound Lou Fa stitched together after days of begging; it took all of Kanda's superhuman force to keep the boy down.

"Still not done?" he snapped at the two scientist swirling some medicine frantically. Despite how scrawny and weakened he was from the injury and the Noah transformation, Kanda could barely the Beansprout. He wasn't sure if the boy wasn't dangerous. "He's attracting too much attention!"

"Twenty more seconds!" Lou Fa shouted as she mixed the ingredients with all speed she could muster. Johnny was there in an instant to administer the drug into vials then then rushed to Kanda's side.

Lou Fa wrapped a ribbon she used as hair tie around Allen's forearm to locate a vein. As he was quite muscular, it didn't take long to have a vein bulge out. Johnny grabbed onto Allen's arm with all his might to keep it unmoving so they wouldn't miss.

However just as she pierced his skin, Allen mustered enough power to kick Kanda across the room and shove Johnny away harshly. As soon as he was liberated his whole body curled inwards in pain, the syringe still dangling from his arm, but in an angle that didn't allow her to inject the anesthesia.

Thus was bad, these horrible cramps resulted from Noah and Innocence battling put great strain on his body. If he didn't get help he could even die.

There was nothing else to do.

She cautiously approached the ball Allen shrunk himself into and with slender fingers she traced his neck in search of an artery. When she found it she pressed down and readied to administer the drug; she didn't expect Allen shift under her, she didn't expect him to lash out. Lou Fa's eyes widened as Allen, unseeing, swing his half-Innocence-covered right arm at her. She mentally readied herself for the impact, but then a swishing whizzed past her head. A sword pierced Crowned Clown's glove and nailed its Accommodator to the wall. His other, taloned arm was twisted behind his back by Kanda.

Blazing blue eyes whipped at her, snapping her out of her minor shock. "Do it now!" He shouted at her as he restrained him, unintentionally pulling Allen's shirt apart and exposing his chest. He was squirming around too much to pierce his neck so that left...

Gripping the injection tightly, Lou Fa stepped forward and holding it like a knife, she stabbed Allen's chest, introducing the substance directly in his heart.

Almost instaneously, Allen's vision cleared and his disbelieving eyes met Lou Fa's relieved one. The next moment he collapsed onto the small scientist. Lou Fa caught him with an 'uff', but unable to support his wheight, she slipped to the ground. Now she was sitting on her knees, Allen's too half leaning on him while his lower half sprawled out. For a few seconds only four person's ragged breaths could be heard.

"Why?" Allen whispered in her skin, still in half delirium. "I could have killed you. I almost killed you." His breath hitched and she sensed wetness on her neck. Her arms instinctively tightened around his shaking form. "Please, just go. This is too dangerous. _I'm_ too dangerous. I… I can't protect you."

Lou Fa's brows furrowed in sorrow. She moved the hand from his back, sliding it up to his nape, caressing it gently.

"I know," she whispered back, forcing herself not to cry; Allen needed her support. "We all know. That's exactly why I- we won't leave. If we weren't here, who knows what could have happened to you? We don't want you to suffer all on your own. We don't want you to fight alone. I will stay by your side until the very end."

Another set of droplets plitter-plattered on her skin. Hit breaths danced on her skin as hiccups shook the teenager in her arms who finally raised his owns to encircle her in an embrace.

Allen was right. What she was doing was incredibly dangerous. She could end up more of a liability than an asset….

But still, she refused to run, refused to abandon him. Allen was worth the risk. She would stay to the very end, even if it meant her own.


	7. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: strangulation
> 
> Thank you for everyone who supported this work with kudos and hits. Speacial thanks to Friendly_Reaper and riverside_musings, they really made my day ^^

To the very end. Her own words came back to haunt her, along with a Noah. The familiar warm, always gentle hand was now clasped around her throat, applying too much pressure to breathe freely and forced her to look up into silver irises that were now just a void.

"Who are you?" Lou Fa flinched as he, the Fourteenth snarled at her. "If you don't want to end up like him, answer."

Lou Fa shut her eyes closed, praying that Johnny's injury was merely superficial, but the nagging panicked voice in her head kept insisting that the sickening crack she heard implies elsehow: that if Johnny didn't get immediate medical attention he might suffer from permanent brain damage or in worst case scenario, might end up dead. Johnny who risked his everything to find and support Allen didn't deserve this. Allen, who fights this monster alone doesn't need another dosage of lifelong trauma and guilt.

"Just a scientist," she choked out in a small voice, as much as the Noah let her. Her knees quivered from the sheer terror she experienced. She was alone and vulnerable and if she said or did anything wrong she was going to get killed which would result to Allen's mental state to decay further. She had to survive. All of them.

"That's _what_ you are, not _who_ ," the Noah sneered. "Don't make me ask again."

"Lou Fa. I'm here to help Allen."

She couldn't help but shudder seeing an arrogant smirk, completely out of Allen's character, cross his features. "A friend of Allen?"

When the familiar body yet unfamiliar person in it leaned closer to her, she couldn't help but freeze. The man wearing Allen's face chuckled at her pathetic state. "He's _gone_."

The burning in her eyes contrasted sharply with the low temperature of the room. It hurt, more than the unforgiving force gripping her neck, it was devastating to even think that Allen could be truly dead.

Her own trembling hands tightened over the uninvoked Innocence that trapped her. _Please_ , she begged, hoping that the God Crystal that protected Allen so many times could hear her _please, please save him_!

Praying on its own wasn't going to help however, she couldn't just sit around and wait for some godly miracle.

She coughed, trying to form words. "He… will be… back. I… believe... that he'll be back I know… he won't lose… That's why I… I won't… leave… I can't run when he's… fighting with his all…I won't… abandon him. I… I have to fight too. I will… So… come back…. A-"

She let out a strangled gasp, tears finally breaking free as her windpipe was completely obstructed by the leering demon above her. Her heart fluttered in her ribcage like a caged hummingbird, loud enough that it reverberated through her whole body, almost drowning out the voice of her attacker.

"You have so much faith in him it's almost cute. However, I can't let any witnesses. And of course, it would absolutely break Allen if someone he loved died by his hands. If he finally caved I'd have one less problem to worry about."

Lou Fa's throat gurgled with the saliva running down on her jaw, her nails cutting into the inhuman appendage that suspended her.

_Think! Think! Struggle! Resist! Please! Don't let him wake up to this!_

Her hold laxed as her oxygen deprived muscles gave in, falling to the side laxly.

_Think! Think! Stop him!_

Her hand twitched inching towards her pouch feeling for a specific blend.

She was so tired of being helpless. So tired to be powerless to change a thing. Of constantly losing because of it.

Her hand gripped on the syringe tightly.

It was time to take her own fate in her own hands.

With the last bits of her will, to the Fourteenth's surprise, Lou Fa swung her arm at him.

_Protect! Everyone!_

The sudden action distracted the Noah for a second, which was enough for the injection to land in his right bicep. Silver eyes widened as the body it belonged to suddenly sagged. Now that the Innocence arm lost force, Lou Fa fell to the ground with the Noah collapsing on top of her. She spluttered, lugs aching as oxygen once again filled it, her numb limbs slowly regaining life. Sensations returned to her, letting her feel the chiseled body pressing to hers, legs tangled, a white mop of head glaring at her as it laid on her heaving chest.

"What have you done to me, you witch?" the Noah hissed at her infuriated.

Despite the situation Lou Fa laughed. "Even with all the trust... I have in him... I did expect... that this could happen… I can't… expect him… to succeed no matter what… he's only human… which is why I… I made sure... to have a way to neuralise him if the situation called. You got a heavy dose of drug that induces paralysis in skeletal muscles. You can't hurt anyone or run away."

Though the malice didn't fade from his gaze, the chapped lips still pulled into a smirk. "I'll admit that this is my loss, I was foolish to underestimate you. But you won't be this lucky again. Next time we meet you'll be dead by the time you realise I'm the one in control."

Before Lou Fa could come up with any sort of rebuttal a sword pierced the hardwood floor next to her breast, making her shriek in fright.

The two turned their eyes up, shocked to see Kanda's glare. "Next time you're in control I will end you."

"Kanda, don't scare her like that!"

Renewed tears escaped Lou Fa's eyes. "Johnny, you're alright!"

The shaggy haired scientist finally came in their vision, pressing a towel to the injury to his head. "Yes. Thanks to you buying time, Kanda could sneak in and heal me before it was too late."

"Enough with the chitchat," Kanda cut in, his scorching blue gaze drilling into the Noah's scowling one. "I have questions for you. First of-"

White eyelashes fluttered and silver pools slowly filled themselves with _soul_ again. Kanda's eyebrow twitched. The bloody Noah bailed.

"Eh?" Allen mumbled confused why he was having a stare match with Kanda, wondering why he was lying on something soft and warm with a steady beat, . Heartbeat, he realised. He was lying on someone's chest. And did he really feel a breast under his cheek?! "EH?!"

He tried bolting away, nervous to realise that he was unable to. "I-! I can't move?!"

"Sorry, I had to paralyze your body," the person under him croaked. "I couldn't inject the full dosage so you should be able to completely regain your mobility in half an hour." Dear _Lord_ , it was Lou Fa.

"N-no, I'm sorry for… being on you, I must be heavy. Kanda, would you please-?"

"No."

Johnny watched as Kanda pulled his sword out of the parquet, resheathed his sword and marched away. He shook his head sighing then as Allen wished, moved him over. But with his recent wound, he could only do as much, he just rolled the boy off the tiny lady.

Allen gave the bleary eyed girl an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I have no idea how that-" As his eyes flickered down in shame he was puzzled to see bruises bloom on Lou Fa's neck. Bruises, forming the imprint of a hand. Despite the drug hindering him, his muscles tensed up.

_No, it couldn't be._

And yet, it made _so much_ sense.

Lou Fa and Johnny gave him worried glances seeing fear and shame reflect on his face as he looked at the two of them. He grunted, attempting to invoke his Innocence in horror, panicking more upon realising that he couldn't. Tears rolled down on his cheeks and he didn't even have the means to hide his sorrow and disgrace. "I'm so sorry."

"Allen, it's not your fault," Johnny said gently as he took out a handkerchief and wiped away the moisture. "We were the careless ones. But we won't err again."

Lou Fa took the hand that almost killed her in hers and gave it a light squeeze. "We knew what we were up to when we decided to come. And I don't regret my decision; I'm sure Johnny feels the same. My only regret is that I can't help you more than this."

"Lou Fa..."

As exhaustion after the adrenaline high settled in she couldn't help but lean into his warmth. "I won't leave you. So please, you too... don't leave me either."

"... Alright," he whispered defeated.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she snuggled into his warmth with a sigh. Other times she would have squitted away spluttering, but right now she was way too exhausted, sleep was calling to her. On the brink of her consciousness she could still hear his soft voice utter 'thank you'.

A small smile spread on her face.

_Always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed and that I could bring you closer to this cute ship. Please look forward to next year and comment.


End file.
